I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize