How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
