im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
did i walk over a car last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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