I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
