I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
