I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
