hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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