Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize