She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
