I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
