it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i came on her dog
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
