I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
