Your face is a jimmy john
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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