after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
