My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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