how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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