i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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