but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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