remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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