i will never coherently bang her
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
