Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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