First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
