then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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