Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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