Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
