Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time