idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
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I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
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Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night