I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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