Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing