All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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