i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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