There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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