Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
