i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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