HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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