i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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