Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
