i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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