Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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