This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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