her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
