A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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