i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
