I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
