My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
