I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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