never play flip cup with pint glasses
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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