You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
are you so shy because you have an std?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
