ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
