my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
