I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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