we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
