Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
