Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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