whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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