I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
