And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Shame - the story of my life.
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