Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
