I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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